4/8/2016
just had a very brief conversation with danielle
she's doing med science
i thought she was doing journalism
so from my experience with people's reaciton to my last movie i gathered perspective is everything
i guess i'll describe that further if you want
but to me i felt like im carrying this weight ( cowboy bebop reference) and i find the burden being lifted off, that im able to shed off these feelings i've held on to, the more disinterested she seems, the more i feel how futile it is for me to try ( cowboy bebop reference ep 10). Not that it doesn't have an effect on me, i envy her and admire her but it just becomes more apparent to me, she's living her life and i need to live mine, and stop worrying what she thinks and feels because if she doesn't care why should I take the hits and feel drained by being reminded of her, that's just what was on my mind
now that im thinking clearer
err
better archive that
maybe i should start blogging as well
hahahah this is nice, i can quote this guy
Maybe i feel I don't deserve her and didn't earn my right in the first place. These beliefs call in difficulty, forget the need to be worthy, it doesn't have to be hard, recognise life can be amazing and effortless; i really admire that i've cared for her so strongly for this long and almost thankful to have experienced it and been shaped by it because it's led me to find myself and has shown me to stop being a pawn of other people and my own emotions and really do the things that fulfils me and what i think is right, that which leads me to confront my fears and break the silence and make a change because ( haha another quote), doing the same thing over and over and expecting shit to change is insanity
again tho
amazing how i went from being a caveman stuck in a dark hole in a mountain to reaching climbing an reaching its peak and being able to see the horizon
Writing while listening to the little wonders 2014-july 2016 Video :D
Music improves the flow of my thoughts.
Nice Michael, that's awesome
